In 25 years of counseling I have learned the following about myself and others:  

--People need help learning how to forgive. Once a person makes the decision to forgive, there are strategies and coping skills to bring that decision to fruition. Unless this is done, we never feel like we forgave anything. Many people don't find freedom or healing for the painful emotions which have built up over time because they have not healed correctly and thoroughly.  

Forgiveness is not only possible but is the only thing that can heal damaged emotions. Forgiveness does not free the person who harmed us from the consequences of their behavior. Forgiveness frees us from being a slave to a constant state of pain and anger from how others have harmed us. How could forgiveness free your soul from emotional pain?  

--People need help learning how to talk to one another. The art of communication is learned, not something with which we are born. Most of us talk to each other in such ways as to create anger and pain to those we love. We have to learn that things such as sarcasm, character assassination, etc., will never help us to bond to one another. Instead, we create very negative emotions which only serve to push others away from us. Who have you hurt with painful words? Who has hurt you with painful words?  

--People need help understanding that depression has a great deal to do with how we think. Although that is not the only fuel for depression, it is enormous. If you pour negativity, anger and frustration from your thoughts into your soul, you will, more than likely, suffer from depression. However, you are not the only one who suffers. Our mates will suffer, our children will suffer, those closest to us will suffer from how our negative thoughts make their way into words that wound the soul. Learn other things that create a state of depression and hopelessness in our souls. In what ways are your thought patterns negative?  

--People need help to understand that among other things, anxiety can come (or at least be made much worse) from what we put into our bodies. Harmful chemicals which we consume every day can exacerbate anxiety to a point that we are locked up and unable to function. Find out what those things are. Chances are you are using them.  

--People need help understanding and implementing boundaries as a healthy way of living. There are many manipulative people in this world and boundaries can protect us from them.  

--People need help to NOT compare themselves to anyone. There will always be someone prettier, more buff, richer, smarter, etc., than you. Be the best you that you can be. This is another depression maker.  

--People need a safe place to talk and be who they are without judgment. People need this so much that they go to unsafe places for this kind of help and end up very hurt and untrusting. People don’t need fake professionals who hide behind degrees and education. We need real people who dare to be approachable and vulnerable. Where are you going to talk without fear of judgment?  

--People need help with marital relationships. Marriage does not come easy. In fact, it is very difficult. Marriage is in trouble today and people need help in learning coping skills to be married and stay married. Do you handle your marriage relationship responsibly?  

--More than ever extramarital affairs are tearing families apart across this nation. Married people need to understand that, even after marriage, attractions will happen. It's not unusual and it's not uncommon but it needs to be dealt with very carefully. People seem to think that if they have an attraction to someone it is fate and they have to be with that person. Not so! Learn the myths about affairs and attractions before it's too late for you.  

--Anger is a mask for emotional pain. It appears to be a negative emotion but it is a cry to be understood. It can also grow into a way of living which is destructive to relationships all around us. Do you understand why you are angry?  

--People need to have purpose in life. Life without purpose is empty. What is your purpose? 

--Christian counseling available upon request.

What would you add to this list? I would like to hear it. akronjanmurphy@aol.com

My services are most effective for men and women who are looking for one or more of the following:  

  • For anyone who has been wounded and feels like there is no hope for healing.  
  • Men who want to know how women think and feel can be helped by a female counselor. 
  • Women who want to understand their husbands better can be helped by a successfully married couselor (38 years and counting).
  • People who want more peace, contentment and/or balance in life. 
  • People who are feeling "stuck" but don't know why  
  • People who want to be more attuned to relationships, health, and stress management in life.